Two Truths, One Journey: An Adopted Youth’s Story of Healing, Awareness, and Resilience

Adoption can be a beautiful and life-changing experience, but for many, it also comes with deep emotional challenges that last a lifetime. This National Adoption Awareness Month, we are honored to share the story of Grace Brauer — a former foster youth, adoptee, and founder of Project ACE — who courageously opens up about her journey.

From the joy of being chosen to the lingering pain of past traumas, Grace’s story captures the complexity of adoption and foster care. Through therapy, self-awareness, and a determination to make a difference, she has transformed her experiences into a mission: raising awareness about mental health, trauma, and the lifelong impact of childhood adversity.

Grace’s perspective is a powerful reminder that adoption is not just a single moment in a child’s life — it’s a lifelong journey that deserves understanding, open conversation, and compassion.

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It’s National Adoption Awareness Month.

Adoption can be a beautiful thing, but it comes with a lot. Growing up as a person who was adopted can leave deep wounds. I’m grateful I was adopted, but I (and many other adopted people) also have life long mental obstacles to overcome because of things that lead to adoption.

Two truths can exist at once- it can be a wonderful, beautiful, amazing thing… and still be traumatic.

— My Adoption

Self worth issues have followed me my entire life (as well as an ever present need to prove those nasty voices in my head, telling me I’m worthless, wrong).

Children of adoption can look at it as “I was chosen”, as someone CHOSE to adopt and love us- but in a lot of cases, there was also someone who should have been obligated to us (a mother, father, family) that did not choose us. There is an undeniable flip side to the “I was chosen” mentality. And it’s okay that some of us struggle with that.

My bio mom would choose drugs and alcohol over buying food or kid necessities. As far as I know, my bio father doesn’t even know I exist. There’s a deep part of my brain that still wonders why someone who was supposed to love me let things happen to me like they did. And at a subconscious level, that can mean questioning my self worth.

While I have done a lot of therapy, and I work hard to gently quiet that subconscious, core thought of “I wasn’t worth it”- I still carry it everyday… and it still gets heavy on bad days. I’ve gotten a lot better at speaking to my inner child kindly.

— Awareness

I say all this because awareness is important. Adoption and foster care are topics a lot of people avoid because the can be uncomfortable.

Awareness… because I genuinely don’t think I’d be here if it hadn’t been for a major life disruption that made it clear I needed help. A total chance, traumatizing, painful encounter that pushed me over the edge in my early 20’s.

In the years leading up to me getting the therapy I needed, I had called suicide hotlines, allowed myself to live in nasty environments, stayed places I felt unwelcomed and in danger, and often struggled to even wake up (and if it weren’t for my cat Obi needing food, I probably wouldn’t have).

— The accident and my own dumb luck

Then, I was in a hit and run car accident at 22. The feeling of worthlessness became overpowering. I was convinced “I wasn’t even worth stopping for.” “I wasn’t worth the cops writing the police report correctly.” My life flashing before my eyes “wasn’t worth turning the girl who hit me’s life upside down” (a quote by Kentucky State Police’s finest).

All the self worth issues from childhood came up with that too. Being a child of the foster care system, abuse, neglect… so many existential questions were suddenly even more amplified. I didn’t believe I was alive at a certain point and was doing dangerous things to prove it. (Like driving with my eyes closed, or disappearing without telling anyone… and I’m sorry to those who experienced that version of me).

My paths became: “do something insane until hurt myself” (which I did do…but was lucky I didn’t irrevocably hurt myself or any others)…

or “GET HELP”.

— Project ACE and making mental health awareness my purpose

The help I found through therapy was a pivotal moment. I found out what ACE’s (Adverse Childhood Experiences) were. I was diagnosed with Complex PTSD. At this point, I had a path to healing, and all the years of low self worth, self-sabotaging behaviors, and extreme anxieties… MADE SENSE?

Becoming AWARE of how trauma affects the brain CHANGED. MY. ENTIRE. LIFE. I stand by the ideology that “Awareness is the first step to healing”.

The worst year of my life followed that accident, including many deaths (including of my adoptive parents), and my own health issues. But I survived it because, as LUCK would have it- I had gone through EMDR treatment just prior (thanks car accident?) I had done extensive research on how the brain works after trauma.

— The Outcome

I want to make awareness and positive outcomes from adoption and foster care less about “dumb luck”. I’m well aware that I am only here because of dumb luck and a sprinkle of resilience.

Awareness should be the norm. Awareness is prevention and healing all at once. I was lucky to find myself (no matter how unfortunate the circumstances) in a space where I was made aware.

Anyways… Talk about adoption. Talk to your friends with adopted kids. Talk to your friends who were adopted. Talk about it, read about it, try to understand it. Normalize it.

Adopted kids turn into adults, and those kids AND adults deserve to understand the big feelings they may have to overcome. It starts at home, in schools, and in welcoming, open conversations.

Thanks for reading this adopted kid’s story time and perspective

-Grace

Pic of me with my grandparents while my bio mom still had custody (they adopted me years later)